RAINBOW BRIDGE

My beautiful Jig has crossed the Rainbow Bridge to join his idol Judo and his pal Jess who have already crossed over this year. I am sure they were there waiting for him.
Our grief at losing him has been tempered by relief that we could end his increasing distress when his condition deteriorated over the Christmas period.
Jiggie's month in the snow has given us some very special memories that will stay with us forever. Our bond was never closer than in the last few days as I fed him tiny amounts of food by hand and lay on the floor beside him trying to calm him as he choked on water that he was so desperate to drink. He was bright as a button on Wednesday morning when we arrived at the vets, climbing all over the surfaces looking for the supply of smackos and even managing a 'wow, wow' which for the first time ever, he had not managed to give us when we got up that morning. He never had any fear of the vets; he just loved everybody and they in turn loved him. He was such a big personality and leaves an enormous gap particularly as one of my friends said- on the sofa. Jiggie was a grade 1 couch potato and the most laid back dog I have ever had.
I know now that it is time to move on. Every dog we have ever had is different; we learn something new with each one that we are privileged to own, and Jig taught me a lot in his short life.
It's time now for a new begining; and 2011 will be Ghillie's year. It's way beyond time that he got the full attention and training that he needs and deserves.
Of all the dogs I have ever had, it is strange that I still feel that Jig is so close that when I wake and stretch out my hand in the night, I can almost feel his soft fur. I am sure one day, we will meet again.

  
                                                 FREEBIRDS COOLEST BY PHAR
                                                                       'Jig'
                                              22nd March 2002 - 29th December 2010 

                                                            Run free. 

Jig: week 4

So another week has come and gone. The weather has given us a few problems- as it has for so many people  Ghillie's dog food was stuck in a depot somewhere in the midlands last weekend, and after frantic phone calls, we finally managed to obtain what I think was the last bag of Arden Grange sensitive in west central Scotland. Of course, having been told we were unlikely to get our supplies until after Christmas, they actually turned up the next day so we needn't have paniced after all. The same applied to some vitamins and supplements that I ordered for Jig and likewise after managing to source them locally, they turned up the next day. At least we are well supplied in the event of any further weather disasters and, I now know where to obtain food and supplements locally- and at a much better price, so all's well.....
Jig has continued to do quite well overall. He has had a couple of 'bad' days when he has seemed really exhausted after being out and has slept virtually unmoving all day afterwards. He gave me a real scare this morning when he had a severe choking fit while eating. Something had obviously got lodged somewhere in his throat where he was unable to free it and he was in quite a bit of bother and distress for a short time. His usual snack of snow settled him and he really seemed to enjoy his walk in the sunshine and the winter wonderland that greeted us in our local country park.

Ghillie had his annual check-up this afternoon. He doesn't enjoy going to the vets after all the trauma during his first year but he was quite well-behaved for a change. I think he is developing a moderately more laid back outlook on life.

He has certainly developed a liking for our new chairs. I know they are recliners but that is really going too far!!! If Frank catches him, he will not be amused!!!
I took Jig with me to the vets as I wanted to weigh him. He has been losing his coat...new central heating is playing havoc with all of them.... but I was sure he was losing weight as well. I was shocked to find that he had lost 3Kg. since the end of November. My vet however thought he looked really well; he was certainly bouncing around the surgery like a lunatic and vocalising fit to deafen us all. He is not showing any adverse effects so far from the prednisolone so I am going to increase his food a little to see if I can get some of the weight back on. We will be going back to the vet hospital again sometime in January. Both my own vet and Rory feel that the coQ10 enzyme and additional vitamins will certainly not do any harm and might just help and of course at this stage, I will try anything that might just help improve both his quality of life and longevity.
The important thing is that my own vet sees an improvement re the salivation and throat problems since she last saw him and says that he is not in any pain at all.
We are going to have a quiet Christmas, but it will be a very special one knowing that unless a real miracle happens, it is likely to be the last we spend with my 'big Jig'.
I know from the lovely messages I have had, that quite a few people are keeping up with our story. Thank you all for your good wishes and support. I hope you all have a great Christmas and a happy, healthy, and successful New Year.
Best wishes from Lindsey & Frank, JIG, Flyn and Ghillie.

Jig: Week 3

I am nolonger counting the days; we are into week 3. Jig seems so well. He is still salivating and drooling but much much less that the way he was when the nightmare began. His food is still being mega-soaked and he is still eating very slowly albeit I suspect because he is trying to spit out fragments of his tablets that are now ground down really fine in his food. He has been reduced to drinking ordinary water as well as chomping on snow which is still lying in copious and pristine quantities on the nearby golf course. His voice has practically returned to normal...I don't dare say, 'it gives me a headache', but rather it is 'music to my ears'... positive, positive, positive!!! He has always been very vocal and I have long ignored the strange looks from people when we have our ongoing 'wow wow' conversations...only me and Jig really know what we are saying....I think. So far, no signs of any side effects from his new medications. I have ordered extra vitamins for him and also coenzyme 10 which I understand will help with gastric side effects. Hopefully they will arrive as I have ordered them by special delivery; there is still no sign of the meds posted out by the vet school more than a week ago.
Hallelujah!! we have finally had a rubbish collection this morning. I can now sort out the freezer and throw out questionable items to make room for supplies over Christmas. It is currently in the situation of being full with nothing to eat but a miscellany of dubious looking containers of odds and sods of left overs that have gradually taken over from goodness knows when.
I don't even think any of it is fit to be put out for the birds. I have tried to keep up with supplies on bird tables in my front and back garden although fresh water seems to have been freezing almost quicker than I can replenish it. I was rewarded earlier this week by several visits from flocks of long-tailed tits. They are definitely one of my favourite birds, so active and so pretty. Unfortunately, their visits occurred at really dark times re photo opportunities so no pictures at the moment. However this wee blue tit was quite happy to pose this morning.

Well, I have actually got around to writing some Christmas cards and am off to the post now. The sun is shining so I guess it is a good time to walk the dogs as well...not that they care cos as far as they are concerned, any time is good...and who am I to argue.

Jig. Day 10: A Glimmer of Hope

Yesterday afternoon, we finally got the biopsy results for the mass in Jig's throat. It appears to be an infected polyp and is the main reason for Jig's symptoms of hypersalivation and foaming at the mouth. The bad news is that it is not possible to remove it surgically. This also means that the location of the primary tumour that has metastasized in his lungs is still unknown. Rory has proposed starting a new course of treatment to try to reduce the polyp with steroids and a further course of antibiotics. The plan is to re-xray his lungs in about six weeks if he continues to do well to see whether the nodules have grown/increased. Unfortunately, they are too widespread to be dealt with surgically, but it is felt that we might then have some idea of what sort of tumour we are dealing with.
There are still so many unknowns and 'what ifs' but, several positives have come out of this. The obvious one is, that by suggesting re-xrays in six weeks, the inference is that Jig already has a 100% increase in the time he has left when compared with the original prognosis. There is also the chance that his new drug regime will have some effect on the nodules and the still undiscovered primary tumour.
There are no guarantees, but I feel that there is an outside chance to prolong Jig's life beyond what seemed possible two weeks ago and to maybe play a proactive role in the battle against the big 'C'.
I know that quality of life plays a big part in all this and that I will have to make decisions in the future on the modes of treatment that may be available. I don't want my lovely boy to go through discomfort and pain just to give him a little more time, but, if there is the chance of seriously prolonging his life, then I will look at all the possible alternatives.
At least for the time being, we have hope, and just maybe, Christmas won't be cancelled after all.

Jig:Review of Days 8 & 9

I think that this is one of those odd weeks where the days just seem to drift into one another. Wednesday was very quiet and sooooo cold. I think Monday's marathon finally caught up with me and the combination of a hellish sore throat and a tummy bug kept me indoors with a Jig curled up beside me on the settee. It was not however a restful day; confinement with an overactive and totally frustrated Munsterlander is not to be recommended.

Don't believe this 'butter wouldn't melt' expression. Everytime I twitched during Wednesday, he was at the door desperate to be off and away. To say I could have throttled him would be a minor understatement.

Thursday was to be a better day all round. Jig was bouncing, Ghillie and Flyn were totally manic and even if I wasn't 100% there was no way I was going to be able to spend another day indoors feeling sorry for myself.
We were running short of essentials and with rumours flying around about petrol stations running out of fuel, and a nearly empty tank, I decided to venture forth in the car for the first time since Monday. Despite having moved the snow in the drive, I still managed to rip off the plastic tray that protects the underside of  the engine. I am starting to wonder if the car is going to survive the winter. The rear wiper broke off from the sheer weight of  snow on Monday, I have lost all my interior lights and the warning lights are on telling me I have a headlight malfunction- I sense a car bill on the way. Nevertheless, after several of us helped an elderly neighbour get her car out of the opposite cul-de-sac, I finally slipped and slithered off the estate.

After a  successful shopping and refuel trip, a much relieved Jig, Ghillie, and Flyn were finally let loose on the golf course. It was another of those truely memorable days. I couldn't believe how much warmer it was than the day before; the temperature was begining to rise as the melting snow fell and dripped from the trees as we walked along. The sun catching the snow crystals turned the golf course into a sea of diamonds and it was breathtakingly beautiful.

It's funny how three dogs can all behave so differently. Flyn is a nightmare; all he ever wants to do is heelwork- which is clearly impossible in eighteen inches of snow. If ever there was a reason for returning to serious obedience competition, he is it.

At least it is not quite as uncomfortable having a snowbound dog wrapped around your leg as it is a soaking dog after he has been in the sea on a day out at the coast.





Ghillie was in seventh heaven as usual. Trying to get decent photographs of him is nearly impossible and I end up with an endless collection of blurred black and white flecks, flying ears and bedraggled tail as he disappears into the distance.

It's a shame because when he is still, he is really quite photogenic.









As for my dear Jig, he couldn't care less what the other two are up to. He bounces along, stopping to  consume the usual copious amounts of snow before rushing back to get his bum smacked and be generally fussed. He is so funny now, he seems to have developed a real camera awareness that he never had before. He used to be the first to try and slink away when he saw me reach for the camera. The best shots in the past were the ones he didn't know I was taking. Now,  he is becoming a true poser. The hard part is getting him to move after a photo has been taken.

I tried to catch up with this blog last night, but for some reason the photographs wouldn't load so I gave up in disgust. What I have written here is already consigned to memory and is yet another account of Jigs last days with us. He seems so well again after my scare last Sunday night. For the moment, I can almost forget what lies around the corner. It is easier if I can dispense with the emotional baggage for now and just enjoy our time as if we had forever. Maybe fate will be kind and he will get an extension on the time predicted. For now, life is good.

Jig: Day 7 The Aftermath.

After a sleepless night on Sunday night and all of our traumas yesterday, I thought Jig might do better with a night downstairs. Maybe, I had disturbed him too much or maybe it was just too warm upstairs for him. I shot downstairs or rather hobbled quickly...my back was agony after a day in the car yesterday, to find a very happy Jig giving it serious vocals with tail going one way and the rest of him the other. He was definitely none the worse for his day out in the car, in fact, he was positively bouncing and the brightest I have seen him for a while. That was more than could be said for Frank who was definitely the worse for his marathon slog home on foot yesterday. British management is really unbelievable. With Strathclyde police advising people not to travel today, I heard one poor woman on Radio Scotland saying that if she didn't get into work she wouldn't be paid; she had had a text to that effect from her employers this morning. What does she do? she cooks at a school for kids who weren't even going to be there today. Unbelieveable.

I phoned the vet school this morning and Rory is sending Jig's new meds out by post so unless there is another scare, I am saved from another struggle through the Arctic Wastes of West Central Scotland for the time being. At the moment, Jig appears to be in slightly better condition than either of his carers.

We took him with us to the post office this afternoon. We slipped and slid and staggered while he bounded along quite happily. It was rather like the film "The Day After", out there... hardly any cars about, people out on foot, none of the local roads cleared or gritted- needless to say.

So this is the seventh day since the bombshell of Jig's illness was dropped on us. It has certainly been an eventful 7 days in all sorts of ways. I am now more glad than ever that I decided to carry on with this blog. Not only because of the massive support from people, but because it has started me collating and bringing together photographs and memories which one day I am going to be so glad I have.

                  One of the many mountains Jig has climbed. Haystacks in the Lake District.

Jig: Day 6-The Lost Day.

This is the missing day, the day that for me and Jig, really never was. Sunday night was a dreadful night. I don't know if we had just overdone the exercise for Jig during the weekend, but all night, he coughed and choked. I sat and stroked him, worried by the wild look that was in his eyes. He refused to take water and with every fresh bout, I had visions of ruptured blood vessels or simply his heart giving out. I even started thinking that I was going to be denied even a week of the time I was expecting to have left with him. As I write this now, I think, God, how melodramatic, but in the early hours of Sunday morning, it was far from being that. I phoned the vet school first thing on Monday morning leaving a message for Rory to phone as soon as he was free, and also phoned my own vet for a back-up appointment later in the day in case that was what Rory advised.
Rory phoned and suggested I brought him in so they could wean him off present medication and try something different, sedating him if necessary and keeping him under observation until they could start the new meds. It was 10 o'clock; I said I would be there in about an hour and a half. We live some 12 miles East of Glasgow and the vet hospital is approx. 8-10 miles further to the west of Glasgow, not a mega distance but it was just starting to snow again, and memories of the previous week, when it took nearly 2 hours to get there in similar conditions, were still foremost in my mind.
Less than 10 minutes from home, I had to reverse back off the slip road that led to the bypass and the motorway which, was the most direct route into Glasgow; nothing was moving, so I decided to take to the main trunk roads. By mid-day I had reached the East End of Glasgow, nearing the towering edifice of Celtic Football Ground, some 10 miles from home. The conditions were horrendous; the roads hadn't been gritted and were treacherous and we were into the third hour of a non-stop blizzard. I had never before in my life seen or driven in such awful conditions and I have been driving for more than 45 years. I phoned Frank to ask him to contact the vet school as I had left their phone number behind. He phoned back with the info that the vet school was cut off,  Glasgow gridlocked and their advice was that, I abandon my journey and return home. It was now about 12.30pm.
Jig had been amazingly quiet in the back of the car. The very cold air had had a soothing effect on his throat and the choking episodes had settled to sporadic rather than continuous episodes.                                       It was now that the real nightmare journey started. Whichever route I tried to take, I was turned back on, because of jack-knifed lorries or accidents. I spent hours in stationary or slow-moving traffic listening to the ever worsening road reports on Radio Scotland; at least I was able to let Jig out for pee breaks and snow chomping sessions.

                                             One of the many long tail-backs we sat in for hours

          Looking down on M8 stationary westbound traffic while I was stationary on the A89
We eventually arrived home at 8.45pm on Monday evening; we had been in the car for more than 9 hours and travelled less than twenty miles. I was so grateful for the ongoing dialogue with friends on facebook which quite frankly kept me going when I started to wonder if we were going to get home at all. I also offered up silent thanks to my brother who had given me his old i-phone- I am a bit of a luddite, don't like mobile phones and resisted microwaves for years after they were in common use.
I had thought about leaving the car and trying to walk home, but didn't want to take the risk of what that might do to Jig.
Spare a thought for my poor Frank who works for the Department of Works and Pensions in Central Glasgow. This wonderful example of civil service management finally decided to release their staff  AFTER the trains stopped running and the buses had packed up. He walked the twelve plus miles home... but was still home 3 hours before me. Guess you'd call yesterday, 'mine and Jig's big adventure'.

                                         A sunnier day and better times for Jig, Frank and Flyn.

Jig Day 5

One  of the advantages of snow is, the opportunity to run the dogs on the golf course without fear of upsetting the local golfing community. At the risk of voicing pure heresy, ( being resident in Scotland), it is an ongoing bone of contention as to how much of this beautiful country is given over for the sole purpose of that awful sport. Having enjoyed the beauty of the coast to the north of Aberdeen on more than one ocassion, my sympathies are totally with the locals who have fought so hard and unsuccessfully against the depredations of the Donald Trump empire. Like Scotland really needs another golf course on the East Coast grrrrr....
Well, that's my discourse and rant over for today, and I feel slightly better for it.
Yesterday's positive attitude shrivelled away as I closed the final page of Laurie Kaplan's book "Help your dog fight cancer...."  I have spent the last few days, convincing myself that there really is something I can do for Jig and this is not the end of the line for him. As I read, it became evident that most of the book related to care and support during the proactive treatment stages of cancer. It really came home to me that the nodules/metastases on Jig's lungs put him beyond the sort of treatments that might have been available, and we are already in the realms of chapter 10..... palliative care.
There is a list in the book of,  ten of the commonest signs of cancer in small animals. The closest Jig has come to any of them is difficulty eating. Within two weeks, he was under-going investigations at the vet school and not even they were prepared for or, expected what those investigations would show.
The end of the book also brought back all the grief  of Judo's loss only six weeks ago which I still haven't come to terms with.
The main thing that is keeping me going right now is the fantastic support I am getting from everyone...except Jig's breeder who I contacted today and who responded with how hurt she was that she hadn't been informed sooner. Then again, I guess even that helped too because, it made me so angry, I responded with an email saying things that I wouldn't normally say in a million years, and it even stopped me crying for ten minutes.
So after all these diatribes and doom and gloom, how is Jig today? Well, he enjoyed his walk and his daily scoff of previously untouched snow. I suggested to Frank that we go out and collect little bags full and put in the freezer for him, for after the thaw...he wasn't impressed...is it really such a daft idea? Jig has now decided that his place at night is in my bed... he gets 3/4 and I cling onto the edge by my finger tips while I listen to test match cricket at 3am. At least we're stuffing the Aussies at the moment.
As the weekend draws to a close, I give thanks that there is no sign of deterioration in my boy over the last week. I know I have to put my self-pity aside and be positve for him and also for Frank and for Ghillie and Flyn. Life goes on, for Jig, I can only pray that it is more rather than less.

Jig: in ice-lolly heaven (Day 4)

What a great day we have had. Desperate for a change of scenery, we decided to chance the motorway and attempt one of our favourite short walks near Livingston. It's only a couple of miles around, but definitely pushed my sore hips to the limit wading through 12 - 18 inches of snow. I must admit that I had expected hardier souls than me to have already tackled this walk thus easing the way; it soon became clear that not too many people had been out enjoying the country air! Flyn obviously knew better than us and within minutes of leaving the car, lay down in front of Frank and refused to go any further...feather-bed collies!!! Frank, muttering expletives, not fit to be mentioned here, duly returned said collie to the comfort of the car while Jig, Ghillie, and myself waited enjoying the sunshine and the fairy-tale scenery. Jig was in seventh heaven consuming copious quantities of pristine snow which must have been incredibly soothing to his raw and painful throat. Ghillie seemed to have consumed copious quantities of snow via the ears and developed one of the worst cases of deafness that has afflicted him for a while. The scent of deer and other widlife, of which there was ample evidence in the snow, was obviously just too much for him. Fortunately, there was little chance that he would vanish without trace as the depth of some of the drifts prevented any rapid disappearances into the distance. The route we normally followed petered out and we were forced out onto the open fields in the footsteps of the previous trail-blazers. The surface of the snow was covered in an intricate pattern of  tiny animal tracks obviously made by more than one species, and we stood and deliberated as to the identities while Ghillie and Jig happily obliterated the nearest signs with somewhat heavier prints.

 

It took us a couple of hours to complete a walk that generally takes only about 45 minutes, but it will be one to remember. We had no choice but to take the scissors to poor Ghillie when we got back to the car as his feathers had vanished in a mass of huge ice balls. It's a good job he has no breed shows coming up...handsome he definitely isn't now. We bundled Jig up in a pile of fleecey blankets and I think he has slept solidly since we got home. For the first time in several days, I have actually found some peace of mind today.

JIG (Day 3)

We brought Jig home yesterday lunch time. First priority was to take him off for a walk, just him and me. He had been couped up in the vet school for two days, and me? well, I just needed some time to be with my boy on my own. We boldly ploughed our way through snow and over fields that hadn't seen a human footprint for several days. Jig loves the snow; I watched him weaving a zig-zag pattern, vandalising that pristine smoothness that had been there only minutes before and I couldn't believe that we have so little time left. I have to remember what Rory, the lovely vet at the vet school said,,,, Jig doesn't know he has tumours; for him, it's just business as usual...walks, feeds, play, sleep. It will be me and my hubby Frank, who will be watching every day, wondering when he will deteriorate and treasuring every single moment we have with him.
I spent yesterday afternoon and evening surfing the net, I suspect like many others before me in a similar position, looking for some possible way of extending his time and maintaining his quality of life. I wondered about trying some holistic approach that might boost his immune system. The trouble is, Jig has always had a very sensitive stomach; treats, bones, chews etc. are not part of Jig's life; on the rare ocassions that I forget and slip him something  outside his regular diet, the results are catastrophic. The last thing I want to do is cause him more discomfort now. I will however continue to seek advice and read all I can about alternative remedies in the hope that something will turn up that might be worth trying.
I am just back after a mad hour in the park with Jig, Flyn - our other collie and Ghillie, the Large Munsterlander. I look around the room and peace reigns. Ghillie has claimed the settee- well he is bigger and takes up more room....a lot more room!!! Jig and Flyn are both fast asleep in their baskets. The peace won't last, Frank was coming home early- Scottish trains are making travel a nightmare for him at the moment- and as soon as they hear him at the door, all hell will break loose. Even as I write, Jig- number 1 curtain twitcher and Ghillie have taken up their positions at the window; it's at least two hours earlier than normal.

I guess it's time to put the kettle on.

JIG

Never in a million years did I think that after I finished yesterday's blog, I was to get the most devastating news possible from the vet school. My dear loveable, laid-back Jig has nodules on his lungs, and a tumour on his pharynx. I didn't take in much of what else was said except that he is in no pain at the moment and has about a month left. He is still at the vet school and I am now waiting for a phone call to go and bring him home. I have already lost my two older collies this year, Judo- the guv- only 6 weeks ago. We have still not come to terms with that; they had good lives, lived to the full but Jig is only 8 and in his prime.

I was  going to destroy the blog and wait for better times to restart it, but just maybe, I can find some emotional release by writing about his final journey. My dear, dear Jig.

Snow, snow, snow!!!!!

When I first decided to attempt my own blog, I never thought that I would finally be motivated by a combination of weather and my favourite border collie.     After living in Scotland for twenty years, I have to say that this is the worst snow I have ever seen - at least on my own doorstep. In my youthful and more adventurous days, I can well remember leaping into the car, at the first mention of dire weather conditions in the north to,  'go and look at the snow' while friends and neighbours muttered darkly about the  'looney doings' of their mad English friends. Now I huddle behind the front room window in my thermal underwear and dread the prospect of having to venture outside.Unfortunately,  I nolonger have the luxury of being able to stay inside as just over a week ago, Jig decided to develop a complaint that has everybody at our local vets totally perplexed and which finally, yesterday morning, on the worst day of the current snowfall so far, led to me making a two hour journey to the other side of Glasgow, to plumb the fount of knowledge at the University of Glasgow veterinary school.