Jig Day 5

One  of the advantages of snow is, the opportunity to run the dogs on the golf course without fear of upsetting the local golfing community. At the risk of voicing pure heresy, ( being resident in Scotland), it is an ongoing bone of contention as to how much of this beautiful country is given over for the sole purpose of that awful sport. Having enjoyed the beauty of the coast to the north of Aberdeen on more than one ocassion, my sympathies are totally with the locals who have fought so hard and unsuccessfully against the depredations of the Donald Trump empire. Like Scotland really needs another golf course on the East Coast grrrrr....
Well, that's my discourse and rant over for today, and I feel slightly better for it.
Yesterday's positive attitude shrivelled away as I closed the final page of Laurie Kaplan's book "Help your dog fight cancer...."  I have spent the last few days, convincing myself that there really is something I can do for Jig and this is not the end of the line for him. As I read, it became evident that most of the book related to care and support during the proactive treatment stages of cancer. It really came home to me that the nodules/metastases on Jig's lungs put him beyond the sort of treatments that might have been available, and we are already in the realms of chapter 10..... palliative care.
There is a list in the book of,  ten of the commonest signs of cancer in small animals. The closest Jig has come to any of them is difficulty eating. Within two weeks, he was under-going investigations at the vet school and not even they were prepared for or, expected what those investigations would show.
The end of the book also brought back all the grief  of Judo's loss only six weeks ago which I still haven't come to terms with.
The main thing that is keeping me going right now is the fantastic support I am getting from everyone...except Jig's breeder who I contacted today and who responded with how hurt she was that she hadn't been informed sooner. Then again, I guess even that helped too because, it made me so angry, I responded with an email saying things that I wouldn't normally say in a million years, and it even stopped me crying for ten minutes.
So after all these diatribes and doom and gloom, how is Jig today? Well, he enjoyed his walk and his daily scoff of previously untouched snow. I suggested to Frank that we go out and collect little bags full and put in the freezer for him, for after the thaw...he wasn't impressed...is it really such a daft idea? Jig has now decided that his place at night is in my bed... he gets 3/4 and I cling onto the edge by my finger tips while I listen to test match cricket at 3am. At least we're stuffing the Aussies at the moment.
As the weekend draws to a close, I give thanks that there is no sign of deterioration in my boy over the last week. I know I have to put my self-pity aside and be positve for him and also for Frank and for Ghillie and Flyn. Life goes on, for Jig, I can only pray that it is more rather than less.